The Cold brings the Fire

I like myself more these days. I don’t really know why. It might of had something to do with the perfect weather , the fact that I finally cleaned my apartment obbsesively, threw a loud, orange party and made poeple feel welcomed, got attacked by big ugly geese yesterday while feeding them popcorn, am finally okay with my brothers rejection, got four new cd’s of very tastful music that i can sit and melt in, my futon feels like heavens sleep, am more clear about the future and how it doesn’t involve here any more but very, very far over there, am getting confused for the right reason, am by myself at work right now, and I am blessed with the sweetest sister. I am learning to notice more, feel more, encourage more.

The cold air brings the sting to breathing, it awakens my senses to what I am actually saying and doing. Most poeple retreat in the winter, but I think I am emerging. Emerging for clarity and seeking deeper meaning in everything. Trying to become less swayed by my emotion and more resolute in my beliefs. To act like another is death to the soul.

This is my New Year.