looking outward

I was completely mesmerized the whole time. The words and their lilting patterns. I wish we were closer friends so you i could here things like that more often
I have been sinking in something, maybe acceptance, maybe forbearnce, either way it feels good and i will slowly cook to death.
Because i felt this way, that i was getting old and mean, i decided to start dressing different. the way i really wanted to. So today i wore new high heeled shoes with open toes from target and mutlcolord striped knee high socks. they are classy. i was told to day my feet look like the witch from wizard of oz. the house on top and nothing but stick feet sticking straight out.
it’s okay though and last night i held you tighter becuase i think it’s coming, but i dare not thinking it. i just should be a tremendously appropriate girl and work and save money for a car. save money so i will not be a burden. save money so he will talk to me about other things. save money for things i love.