Try Me

or should she... here was the night fresh and young, kissing her with it's presence. where had the time fled too? she had had it in her grasp, her control - now everytime she turned around she was getting up in the morning again. it wasn't monotonous but predictable. is this the rut she'd always thought she'd fall in to? but times were changing, new poeple almost every day. her school and work flowed around her incessently demanding answers, commitments, and soul. she begged the day to end it by ending itself. of course she was proud of accomplishing but to what goal. it was a question she never like to think about for to long, but just to keep doing all the things she had gotten herself into by defualt, by choice, by reconcilliation. all this made her want to run very far a way for a while, to sit on that hill. a hill she had never really been to, but had seen in her mind where some other kindred soul had found peace and rest from the maker.

I'm Annoooyying!

I've just come to realize that Davis is not an annoying person and i am. the best thing about nemo is the little seahorse that says "i'm annoooying!" for his contributing attribute. davis should never ever worry about that becuase when i think of him, annoying is not on the list. it's like on the floor somewhere.
blogging is funny becuase i am pretty sure that my significant other has never read mine - same with a friend of mine too. so i guess it's not really that important...

Pantlessfully Gratefull...

Finally found the freakin things... at walmart of all places. I have to wear kahkis or black for my job at Bath and body. that's right two jobs, two funtime jobs. it' wierd when you start selling products you begin to believe all of what you are saying about them. "why yes this is a cure all and will make you ravishingly bueatiful" why can't i say "it's grease and some scent and ted dennard - rhymes with leonard- probably is gay" sad nobody but natalie would laugh at that and she will never read my blog. oh well i luagh... ha ha. anyways...

I am learning about many things:
- selling
- mechanical work with cars
- my beliefs on helping poeple
- time managment
- the authitencity of christedom relics

i thank god really every day for the people in my life i can live with and be real. i take it for granted all to often. i love it to be with some one cut the crap and talk about life. work unravels me sometimes i spend more time with poeple at vulcan than anyone else yet they are only my friends and spactial ones at that. if the situation were grimmer i supect we would feel like we were in a refuge camp. however r-bizzle and ron-gezzy make me laugh...

EWW Yuck

I just finished a frusterated two hours at the mall. all i want are pants kakhi pants. They are so freakin hard to find. where is the classiness. pants that fit nicely and not because they are so tight they'll split when you sit. bluhh and then all the crappy music telling me that if i'm not sleeping with my boyfriend and if he is not treating me like a goddes and kissing the ground i wolk on and if i'm not dressed like a slut while all that's going on, i shouldn't be there... okay i am exatereating but i still didn't find any damn pants.....

I still look at the keyboard when i type...

It’s been awhile since I have updated…I’m to busy reading everyone else’s. Davis and mine’s anniversary was last tues. He sent me a huge bouquet of calla lilies and took me out to eat at ruth cris. It was nice to dress up. It was his brilliant idea to go to waffle house and each cocholate pie like we did on our first date. But we were way to tired to drive all the way down 280 and back. He also wanted to smoke cloves. It was nice he remembered small details. My view on smoking has changed. Maybe I don’t get really stressed out like I used to, I really don’t apprectiate the way my throat feels the next morning even so I haven’t smoked since Christmas. But on a whole it was a fun evening and we both marveled at how fun the whole year was together and that it had been a year and despite some tomultous times we loved every minute of it.
Good times over the weekend in which I slept a whole lot, read, cleaned, and made a shirt for virginia – or most of it. I put a shelf up, I felt very accomplished because putting holes in your walls is a very daunting task. Well it’s probably fell and when I get home there will be books and glass scattered about, maybe not. Family gathering for lunch for my aunt’s birthday. Our family gatherings are so atypical with themselves you know what you missed. But family is a comfort in that it is a familiarity. I have a strange family, heck I came from it… strange enough.
Yesterday at church was interesting. Aaron. is going to my church. It’s weird every time I see him it’s always the last time, but then I always run into him again. I was asking him why he didn’t go to b-wood anymore, when eric. walked up and I got all excited that he was here and totally ingnored the answer. I felt bad and went back to talk to aaron. Basically the premises of his whole thing was how he was jaded by the PCA and didn’t agree with some of their minor thelogical views and how if he went on the mission field he’d rather be supported by the body as a whole and not just one denomination to claim him. It was weird to hear someone have negative feed back on that. But I begin to realize that while I am very grateful for b-wood and the grounding it gave me, it is not the shit, Christ and the body of believers is.
After that Eric and I went out to eat, Davis joined later and we talked about the play Alabama is doing “the Hedwig and the Angry inch.” Eric got really animated talking about the set and how crazy the play is. I read up on it today, it is crazy… I think me and Davis are going to go see it. It seems though that the Hedwig would be angry not the inch. I love independent theatrical stuff, you get crap and avante garde thrown all in there together.
When me and Davis were hanging out before church I mentioned that if we got married I would by him a bike- $500 max. he said “ well I’ll remember that when I’m shopping for engagement rings” I couldn’t stop laughing about that in my head while I was in church. I’m not really sure why it was so funny, I guess because after that we talked about engagement rings. He expected I wanted a large rock to sit on if I got tired of wearing it. But i think those are distasteful unless I was the size of a large rock or a small car. But no, I told him I wanted a small embedded stone. It was weird I’ve never really talked about engagement rings before and I probably won’t for a long time…

Why the Church Brings Clarity

What a great day - weatherwise - it is today. I was reminiscing about church yesterday and thought about the communal fellowship and the depth church brings into my life. Yesterday after church i Hung out with two sweet friends Sara Jane and Ana Luiza. It was a refreshing time of bluhhh here's my crap and encouragment. i really miss those days. i am struggle with transparency with my parents. It's that tension of - I really want you to know who I am but not so much as you might freak out. But anyways the honesty of the Christian life is so freeing. So much growing up I was on gurad because i didn't want anyone to know me and my shit. I mena who would they think i was! but now i feel so much more willing to share to be honest about how i feel and the things i believe in or are struggling with. it's really been revealing in my relationship with davis! But about my title... becuase there's honesty and transparency in the christian walk there is also an accountability of good character and being as Christ. So the church is a place where you share your struggles and lean on your fellow pilgrims for support and encouragement to be more christ like.

About work today I was about to punch Bob - my boss - becuase he kept making me feel inadequate and the Epson printer- becuase it sucks in a pinch!

Painting this Color

So I've ventured into the painting world agian, except this is a gift. Everytime I pick up a paintbrush I am reminded all to often that... I can't piant. but i love to try! My dad has started painting and has gotten me all motivated to follow suite. So another list....
Things my father has taught me about painting:

It's okay to wait on the freaking thing to dry.

layers are cool - no matter what darren said!

Paint what you can imagine - then noone can compare it to anything

direction of light is the hardest thing to get right

but it makes or breaks the painting

so that's all on the list. i just started tonight. and hopefully the recipent of the painting will be grateful and not critical or i might cry... well not really but i will vow never to paint for them again!